all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize