I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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