If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize