I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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