Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
