Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
