She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
