He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I could fuck to npr.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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