she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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