Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
