i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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