Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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