I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
