well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
the raccoons are back...
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