I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
