You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
