Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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