New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize