They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
