I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
