i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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