Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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