drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Say something about gay babies.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
