Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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