Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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