I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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