WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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