So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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