hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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