dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He? As in you personified your dick?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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