we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
