you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
