you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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