Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
