he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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