ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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