I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I pour the whiskey from now on
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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