I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
