Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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