a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
