I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Still dying that you shit outside
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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