She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
