Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
