Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
