my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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