She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He did a backflip because drugs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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