I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
