I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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