I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
