i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
