I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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