My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
