i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
