the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
