I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
