How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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