you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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