Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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