I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
