i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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